Archive for December 28, 2012

Welcome to the Freak Show! Exploring “Weird” Sex Toys

What is “weird” anyway? “Strange” and “bizarre” one might suggest; “unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand.”

The "strange and unusual" has been thwarted into the mainstream with the help of Tim Burton. Here, Lydia basks in the bizarre in Beetlejuice.

Sometimes we’re afraid of the unknown, and instead of feeding into our curiosities and filling ourselves with the knowledge of experience, we quickly dismiss things we don’t understand. Well guess what — ignorance ain’t bliss… especially in your pants! Just ’cause you popped your cherry already doesn’t mean there aren’t more sensations to explore. Broaden the horizons of your ecstasy, and experiment with a new shape, a new texture, or even a new fetish!

Santa dropped a load of XXX gifts under my bearded pink tree (no, this is not a vagina metaphor, my Christmas tree is pretty and hairy…), including the Icicles No. 24. I had my eye on this sucker from the moment I first saw it in our showroom. It’s made of clear, pink glass with sucker-like bumps along the top of its curves, and a subtle veiny texture on its underside.

My Tentacle Fucker (aka Icicles No. 24) complimented my hairy pink XXXmas tree perfectly!

Glass and odd textures were totally new to me, so I was super psyched to get this Icicle, and after popping my glass toy cherry I couldn’t stop! I’m usually always down for a hard ramming, but I found myself being really gentle with this item, using lots of Moist lube to slowly slide it in and out, feeling every. single. bump. I was surprised at how good it feels to use as a clit massager too — gonna hump these bumps for life! I think I used this Icicle at least twice a day the entire first week I had it. Yes, it’s that good. I mean, the thing looks like a fucking tentacle! Who doesn’t wanna fuck a tentacle?

The Icicles No. 38 is next on my list of “Weird Textured Glass Things That Belong In My Vagina”. No, it’s not an internal meat grinder. From what I’ve heard, first you just twist it into your hole (with the help of a fuck ton of Moist lube, duh). Once it’s in, you can either just twist it back and forth, or simply leave it inside of you while you play with your clit and feel your pussy clench against the twists and crevices of the Icicle. The ring at the bottom makes it easy to handle, but can also fit a bullet! I found that our Deluxe Multi Speed Bullet fits perfectly into the hole, so I’m really intrigued to see how some internal vibrations will enhance this experience. Bullet in a screw, Wanachi on your clit – holy hell, I think I already came.

Sexpert Sabrina can't wait to get screwy with the Icicles No. 38!

So now that I’ve fucked a tentacle, it’s on to extraterrestrial cock! Or at least that’s how I like to think of my Fetish Fantasy Elite 8” Dildo. I’ve never been a fan of “natural” looking dicks, and only own purple or glittery ones, so I was pumped when I saw we not only had a line of Elite Silicone products, but ones that look like torpedoes and alien dicks!

Turn any wall into an extraterrestrial fuck fest!

The 8” Dildo has been totally relevant to my interests, satisfying both the weirdo and sex toy connoisseur in me. I think we’ve established how wonderfully weird this thing looks, but the texture is amazing too! The ripples are defined enough to feel every detail, yet subtle enough to be used for a good pounding. The curved G-spot stimulating tip hits all the right spots, and the silicone material? Fucking exquisite! It works great as a strap-on, but I’m a huge advocate of wall banging, so this suction-cupped cock is perfect for solo playtime too.

I might actually die if I have to wait any longer for the release of our Fetish Fantasy Extreme Black Baron Hood. What turns me on so much about this hood is its versatility. Enhance the suspense of restraint and the titillating twinges of a sadistic spanking with complete sensory deprivation. If that doesn’t totally get you off, then tear off the blinder and gag and any sub will be starving for a face fucking, happy to devour whatever Master is willing to serve. Shit, now my mouth (and pants) are watering!

Looking forward to complete sensory deprivation with the Black Baron Hood!

Wanna know more about “weird” sex? Hit up Sexpert Sabrina Dropkick at, or anonymously inquire with the Sexperts here!

We’ve Got A Wet, Hot Winner!

Our stunning winner, Jasmine!

Holidays bring on a ton of things. They bring the frigid weather. They remind us to be thankful. They fill us with good food. And my favorite part? Presents, duh!

This year we found one simple answer for all of these holiday necessities. We wanted to show our thanks for our customers by warming and filling them up with presents… of sex, of course! Or a $1000 Pipedream shopping spree, to be exact.

Jasmine Watkins was the very first person to send in this steamy story submission. Not only did she get us off with her titillating tale, but she went the extra mile and submitted a second time. This time, Jasmine showed off what can only be a rival to our very own Pipedream XXXmas Tree! Jasmine created a red-hot holiday tree of her own, decorating it with condoms and her entire toy collection.

Beyond having two amazing submissions that made all of our Sexperts quiver with excitement, I knew Jasmine deserved to win after seeing how excited and grateful she was when learning she won. “My heart nearly leaped out of my chest when I read this email. Thank you so much for choosing me… I’m going to need a few more trees next year for all these toys!”

Being the Internet troll that I am, I couldn’t help but e-stalk the shit out of Jasmine. Jasmine is a peer educator who currently studies Psychology and plans to get a Masters in Human Sexuality with hopes of becoming a Sexologist. She even spends her free time committed to sex education by running a blog called A Lover’s Mark. She’s recently started a fundraiser in order to provide better sex education for adults in Baltimore, including trucks equipped for on-site STI testing. You can donate to Jasmine’s cause here.

It is safe to say that Jasmine is a badass. She has dedicated immense time and energy to sex-positive activism and education, so we’re proud to be able to give back to those who are dedicated to helping those around them.

Fantasy Dance Pole, PD3879-00

Catch a glimpse of Jasmine’s future toy box! She sure as hell will be fulfilling all of her Fetish Fantasies.

Whether it’s a steamy strip tease or erotic exercise, the Fetish Fantasy Series Fantasy Dance Pole will definitely make you sweat! The pole’s height is fully adjustable and includes everything you need to instantly transform any room in your home into your own private dance studio.

Anyone can exceed their physical limits with ease and access unimaginable positions with the Fetish Fantasy Series Position Master. The sturdy nylon straps hold your legs firmly in place so they won’t get tired just when things are getting good!

Any good sub would love to bend over for our Fetish Fantasy Series Silk Rope Whip. It’s sturdy enough to stimulate your senses but soft enough to avoid leaving whip marks.

For more information about Pipedream contests or products, email Sexpert Sabrina Dropkick at or inquire with the Sexperts anonymously here.

We’ve Got a Wet, Hot, Winner!: Holiday Giveaway Story Submission

Here is Jasmine Watkins’ original story submission. If you like this story, then you’ll definitely love her blog!

My boyfriend and I had been fighting all day to keep our hands off each other since we were surrounded by family. It was even harder considering even my grandparents were making out like teenagers on the couch while my parents were cooking dinner the entire day. So he and I would feel each other up when we had the chance. Then finally, after much groping, lustful stares, lip-biting, unsuppressed wetness between my legs and an unmistakable erection between his, it was finally Xmas night time.

He lead me to the car and drove to this really upscale hotel where I was greeted by red, white, and lavender rose petals from the elevator to our room. Inside there were lit candles, Hershey Kisses on the silk bed sheets, a silk blindfold, whip, whipped cream, and an under-the-bed wrist and ankle restraint system. On the bathroom door there was a door swing. In the glass shower for two there were suction cup hand grips and foot rests. On the couch there were furry handcuffs and some kind of harness I later found out was a doggy-style harness.

It was our sex room for the night and I was told no sleeping was allowed. He stripped me of all my clothing and instructed me to to put on a Santa hat and lie on the bed. He proceeded to take off his clothes, revealing his mouthwatering erection. As he put the blindfold on he said, “I promise this is a night you won’t forget.” He pushed me back on the bed and tied up my wrists and ankles and then I felt… two pairs of hands! I jumped and my heart fluttered as I spoke and asked who it was.

The mystery person laughed and I instantly knew it was the woman from my Psych class that I had told my boyfriend about on a few occasions but thought he wasn’t listening to me since he never responded. She spoke her name and simultaneously my boyfriend entered me and she sat on my face and said, “Eat.” My mouth watered and when I thought it couldn’t get any better, someone pulled out a vibrator and put it on my clit on what felt like the highest setting. I wanted to cry from sheer ecstasy.

I was delightfully tortured for an unknown time and then released and given sight again only to be moved to the couch, door, and shower. I enjoyed every position, sight, sound, taste and moan uttered. When we all were spent, we all took a real shower. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. As he and I arrived home I remembered I still had one more thing on my bucket list so I told him to park in the back of the house. In nearly 40 degree weather I got out of our Coupe, walked him to the front of the hood, and told him to, “Fuck me now.” I (carefully) climbed on top of the car, took off most of my clothes, and he followed. We had sex on top of the car, in the backyard of the house as the sun was rising the day after Xmas.

Everyone was worried when they didn’t hear from us that December 26th. We were busy sleeping and dreaming about our perfect XXXmas.

Every Body Deserves To Flaunt!: Pipedream Embraces Plus-Sizes

Plus-size model Trisha Paytas with... herself! Behind the scenes during a Fetish Fantasy Lingerie shoot.

To quote the Queen of all Queens, RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” It just makes sense, and in the bedroom too — if you’re not totally secure in your own body, it’s hard to perform at your best and enjoy the experience yourself. Body acceptance and self-love doesn’t happen overnight, and even some of us who’ve embraced our size can still be triggered. But it gets easier to attain with the support of others, which I was able to find through communities on tumblr. After finally being able to regularly see and interact with women I could relate to, I was able to slowly adopt the same love and pride in my size. I highly suggest Virgie Tovar’s anthology, Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love, & Fashion, featuring personal essays by an array of writers, activists, and performers, including cover girl and my favorite porn star, April Flores.

Body-shaming is extremely prevalent in our country, and so blatant in day-to-day life that we don’t even acknowledge its presence in environments that claim to cater to us. Mainstream clothing for plus-size women attempts to promote confidence, but I find this hard to believe when all I can find are “comfortable” clothes that are made to mask our soft bodies and luscious rolls with loose-fitting materials that would be better suited as a freakin’ table cloth! Being unconsciously forced to hide our bodies is the very thing that destructs confidence and causes insecurity.

Punky Pirate, PD4735-08

Everyone deserves to feel sexy in as much or as little clothing as they feel comfortable in. When Pipedream CEO Nick Orlandino noticed that no one was catering to us fluffy fetishists, he brought on an in-house designer, a first for any adult novelty company. Designer Liz Jones explained that the goal in mind was to not only offer extended sizes, but to ensure that every style created was made available in these sizes, as most companies will offer very few boring and altered styles that cover us up. “We worked really hard to create a line that actually fits plus-size women while remaining fun, stylish, and affordable.” Our Fetish Fantasy Lingerie extends from “one size” to “Queen” and “Diva” sizes, which goes up to a 4XL, and features Trisha Paytas, an actual plus-size model, on the boxes and promotional material. Our men’s lingerie is also available in larger sizes.

This extensive, size-diverse lingerie collection is a first in mainstream adult novelties, so to celebrate our continued success I wanted to share this fatty’s favorites from our Fetish Fantasy Lingerie line.

The Midnight Prowler creates a stunning silhouette that completely covers you up while showcasing your curves with skin-hugging yet comfortable spandex. It’s crotchless with a dangerously low-cut neck, so you can keep the clothes on while remaining wide open in all the right places!

Explore a wild, role-playing fanta-sea as a Punky Pirate! Your partner is sure to discover your pleasures and treasures in no time as this PVC teddy reveals your exquisite booty with a fiery red G-string.

Metal Mania Teddy Set, PD4716-08

Let it all hang out with our White Hot Corset! This vinyl corset hugs your waist but frees your favorite soft spots as it is cup-free and features a sinfully teasing midriff. It’s easy to put on and remove with a lace-up back, complete with matching G-string.

Turn on any heavy metal stud with our Metal Mania Teddy Set! This tiny get-up makes a huge statement as the chains cascade around your neck and hips, showing off every single curve. The stretchy, chain-linked G-string is completely open to make your pleasure palace easily accessible, and the matching vinyl chain-linked cuffs provide endless kinky possibilities!

For more information about Fetish Fantasy Lingerie or any other Pipedream product, contact Sexpert Sabrina Dropkick at, or anonymously inquire with the Sexperts!

Safety is Sexy!

rainbow condoms

rainbow condoms

It’s been pretty wet over here at Pipedream Headquarters lately, and not from our Moist lube either! Winter has welcomed us with shivering showers, and the only thing scarier than Los Angelenos attempting to “drive” in the rain are the consequences of unsafe sex. With World AIDS Day just behind us on December 1st, we wanted to remind you that whether you’re sharing some wet and wild fun with a long-time partner, a fresh friend, or even your hand, safe sex is always the best sex.

Give your safety gear a face lift with our sexy, skin-tight Rubba-Wear Latex Gauntlets, PD3417-00

Protection should never be dismissed just because it’s bulky or “ugly” (because I’m pretty sure the consequences are even uglier…) But seriously! Protection can be sexy, especially with our Rubba-Wear Latex Gloves. When handling a partner’s bare pleasure parts, gloves serve multiple purposes. They are a barrier for STIs and further decrease the risk of spreading them by reducing the chance of cutting your partner’s skin with your fingernails, and protecting potential small cuts on your own hands. Gloves also don’t absorb lube, keeping you wetter, longer! But don’t forget to change your gloves each time you change partners or holes (going from vaginal to anal and vice versa).

Hey nerd pervs! Glow in the Dark Condoms are a great way to turn your pork sword into a light saber! Condoms aren’t just for biological body parts, either. When you’re sharing toys, especially dongs for strap ons, then you need to protect them too.

Mutual masturbation is one of the least risky ways to tango. It’s also great practice for communication. Explore each other’s curves and canals while testing your verbal direction by restraining yourself and your senses with our Fetish Fantasy Series Bedroom Bondage Kit. It includes ankle straps, wrist restraints, and a satin mask, enabling you to submit to your partner, to trust their touch, and carefully contemplate your words as to best guide them to your hidden pleasure spots!

Fetish Fantasy Series Bedroom Bondage Kit, PD2102-00

Adventures with partners who have a P-spot may want to try a P-Spot Stimulator. Our green Neon Luv Touch P-Spot Stimulator would definitely compliment those Glow in the Dark Condoms ;). Your partner can lie on their back and pleasure their own front as you ease the Neon into their rear-end, aiding them to orgasm!

For partners with a G-spot, check out the world’s first vibrating glass rabbit — No. 16 of our Icicles line! The glass shaft is cleverly curved to ease access to the G-spot, and textured to enhance sensation. Just a flip of the switch sends thrilling vibes through the bunny ears for clit stimulation, freeing your partner’s hands so they can explore the sensations of the rest of their body as you each contribute to a gushing cum-derstorm.

For more safety tips or inquires about any Pipedream product, you can anonymously ask the Sexpert or email me directly at!

How Do I Wash My Vibrating Panties?

Vibrating panties, after being “properly” used, can be a little soaked from…passion. How does one clean something that’s part lingerie and part technology?

All of our vibrating panties from our Fetish Fantasy Series (FFS), Fetish Fantasy Elite (FFE), and Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition (FFLE) detach from their respective remotes and therefore can be treated like any normal intimate apparel.

Most of them, like the Remote Control Fantasy Panty, is made from a combination of vinyl, faux fur, and rubber, so those should be spot-cleaned or hand-washed. The same method can be applied to the vibrating panties from FFE, which features five different styles with materials ranging from silicone tovinyl. The panties from FFLE are made from polyester and spandex,so hand-washing is best — you can also throw it in the washing machine in one of those lingerie wash bags.

Use a lingerie wash bag for Limited Edition Vibrating Panties

If you don’t want to hand-wash or spot clean and you don’t want to risk throwing it in the washer, then dry-cleaning is probably your next best option. Just keep in mind that the innocent folks at the dry cleaners probably don’t get a lot of panties that come with a plug insert that’s curved inward…

For more information regarding our discreet vibrating panties, or any other Pipedream product, email us at or ask the Sexpert!