I’m flooded with sex ed questions, both in and out of the industry, now that word’s spread I’m a Sexpert. REAL TALK! will cover, well, real questions that real people have really asked me, and the answers that I really gave them, and really, truly believe in.
Question: I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a total slut… but I LOVE threesomes. When I first met my boyfriend I thought he like, cured me of needing double the dick. But puppy love has faded and now I’m craving it again. How could I ever ask my boyfriend for a threesome without the risk of losing him? HELP!!!
Answer: Okay, first thing’s first – yeah, you kinda do sound like a slut… and there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, we really, really love sluts! Seriously, I’m a huge slut advocate and was bred by generations of sluts. I’m not sure when “slut” became a disdainful term, but all it means is someone who has a lot of sex. I’m pretty sure a decent majority of the world has sex and probably really fricken’ enjoys it… so why are we trash talkin’ our friends who get to have a lot of it? (Pure jealousy, that’s why.)
Anyway, my dear sister slut, there are two routes you could go with this – simply ask or don’t ask. Whichever path you take, honesty is going to be imperative. The shorter, easier answer is the latter, though, so let’s smack that one out the way.
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Now, the first, more complicated answer is to simply ask; to be completely honest with yourself and with your partner about your sexual desires and needs. Reassure your partner that this in no way means they’re not good enough or even simply enough for you. Let them know how much you love their brain and heart and hard-on. Maybe even sneak a hand down their pants amidst the conversation, proving just how hot that both they and this new kinky possibility makes you. Indulge with them your fantasy, and don’t leave out one single wet, tense, and explosive detail. You may be pleasantly surprised by your partner’s reaction to this genuine expression.
If it doesn’t go quite as you had hoped, be sure to reassure your partner that you won’t abandon them over this, that you won’t cheat on them, and that you don’t expect them to understand or agree to such a sudden and unexpected request. Maybe they’ll digest the information and eventually come around to the idea. And maybe they won’t. But as long as you remain honest to yourself and with your partner about your feelings and needs, everything will work out just the way it needs to be.
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