Archive for January 30, 2015

You really like us!

Not only we were unexpectedly found in the Fifty Shades special edition issue of Newsweek this month – but our products were spotlit alongside testimonials from real women across America! The 99-page issue covers everything from the author of the book to sex toy suggestions – where Pipedream’s Icicles No. 12 and Jimmyjane’s Form 4 can be found!

“Toy Closet” highlights “what a woman really wants for the night of passion she deserves,” suggesting products along with quotes from real women across the country.

“I love how discreet this thing is,” said one woman on her Icicles No. 12. “I accidentally left it out when my parents were over, and they complimented my ‘beautiful sculpture.’”

Another woman shared love for her Form 4. “Since I bought this, I don’t mind so much when my man travels for business.”

“We’re so excited to find our toys in such a prominent mainstream publication,” said Pipedream PR Manager Sabrina Dropkick. “This just proves that Pipedream is the people’s first choice in high-quality, unique pleasure products, solidifying our position as the #1 adult novelty brand in the world.”

Find your limited edition Newsweek on select newsstands now until March 13. Click the article below to magnify it.


Cinema de la Sex, Tres
Entertainment Beyond Fifty Shades

feminst-50-sjhadesThere’s a ton of debate amongst us Professional Perverts as to whether 50 Shades is the shit or total shit. Many argue that the relationship projected in the narrative is not true to real D/s situations, and in fact, is non-consensual and unsafe. Others are just happy that kinky sex is being normalized in the mainstream. Whatever your opinion, we just thought you’d like to know that Mr. Grey ain’t the first boner to stumble across the big screen. There are decades worth of sexuality-inspired cinema and these are just a few of my favs.

The Notorious Bettie Page Even your Pastor’s grandma knows about Bettie Page, so it was only a matter of time before her story was condensed into a 100-page script. For those of you living under like, seventy thousand rocks – it chronicles her ridiculous success as a 1950’s pin-up model. She exchanges her quaint life in Nashville for the chaos of The Big Apple with dreams of becoming an actress. A photographer discovers her (and is credited for suggesting her trademark bangs), immediately taking her in as his muse and soon enough his images land in the hands of some XXX entrepreneurs. Bettie then begins working in fetish photography, innocently unaware of the sexual nature of her leather corsets, thigh high boots, whips, and chains. She finally realizes that casting directors are more interested in her raunchy modeling rather than her acting skills, so she relocates to Miami Beach. It is here that she stumbles across a small church and reconnects with her spiritual roots. Although her modeling career ends, Bettie is never ashamed of her past.

Teeth If you’re into cinematic masterpieces like The Human Centipede, then you’re in for a deliciously demented treat. I’ve got two words for you: Vagina. Dentata. Need I say more? Okay fine, then I guess I will. A teenage girl discovers her cannibalistic vagina upon her first GYN visit. Through the trauma of this discovery and attempting consensual sex for the first time, she realizes that her “teeth” only engage when she is afraid and does not consent to the sexual activity. To give you a little taste of what’s to come, here’s a description of my favorite shot out of all of the shots in the history of freakin’ cinema – it’s just after she’s exorcised a boy of his manhood, and the shot is framed with her legs spread apart and standing on the floor. From between her legs, you can see the boy watching from his bloody bed when it plops right out of her and onto the floor. I had never laughed so hard at horror until discovering this jewel.

Paris is Burning This 1990 documentary is less about sexuality and more about gender – specifically the queer drag culture of 1980’s New York City. It delves into drag balls in particular, which are held sort of like modeling contests that consist of multiple categories such as Executive Realness, School Girl / School Boy Realness, Town and Country, and Vogueing. Participants identify within a vast gender and sexuality system, a collection of identities that surpass the binary categories of dominant society (male/female, gay/lesbian, man/woman, etc.) An imperative detail about this culture is that performers band together to form “houses” or “families” usually named after their leader, the house mother or father. Many times a house would actually, literally live altogether under one roof, truly cementing that they!!! are!! faaaamily!!

Check out my first post of Cinema de la Sex suggestions, including OG Master/sub flick Secretary and the practically XXX Shortbus. And if you’re fiending for even dreamier entertainment, be sure to check out Pipedream productions on PDTV.

Our Dreamy Family is Growing!!!

sofer-headshot-2You guys, this has been one of the hardest secrets to keep lately – even harder than our gigantic new King Cocks! We are just so proud to announce that a familiar face has joined the team. Join us in welcoming Brian Sofer, our new Digital Marketing Director! He’ll be facilitating all of our marketing and digital media goodness.

“As Pipedream continues to grow and expand, we need dynamic people and Brian is the perfect fit,” said Chairman and CEO Nick Orlandino. “His reputation and experience makes him a tremendous asset to our team and we look forward to a bright and prosperous future together.”

Brian comes to us with 20 years of marketing experience, most recently serving as Marketing Ninja for Eldorado Trading Company (oh yes, I did, indeed, say Ninja). He began as an online consultant in 1995 and has since implemented tons of super effective strategies for a wide range of clients in the adult, music, action, sports, and smoke industries.

“I’m extremely excited to join the #1 brand in the world with the best team in the industry,” said Sofer. “Marketing for a creative and visionary manufacturer like Pipedream is an incredibly rewarding opportunity and I’m looking forward to it all.”

Brian can be reached at

Never Slip on the Nip Again!
A Guide to Unique Nipple Play

I’m not gonna lie – nip slips are pretty amusing… but NOT when your nips become a slip of the mind. I’m an “all or nothing” kind of lover – I want to feel all of the things all of the time! We have sex for pleasure, the pinnacle of which becomes your climax – so don’t you want that climax to rock your flippin’ world?! Come on, it’s just like, logic, you guys…

The not-so-secret to the most explosive orgasm you’ve always dreamt of is this: utilize every. single. delicious nerve ending that the Universe has so graciously bestowed upon us for our pleasure – AND I MEAN ALL OF THEM! Sure, it’s entirely possible to have some pretty good sex using only that stuff in your pants, but what if I told you that there’s even better sex to be had if you just paid more attention to the babes (and hunks, respectively) upstairs?

Yes, ladies and gents, the nips! Quit forgettin’ the nips! They’re totally underrated and under-stimulated. If you want all of the pleasure then you absolutely need to play with all of the things, and the nipples are key to completing that internal party of biological ecstasy. Today, we’re gonna venture beyond the traditional lotions and clamps, though, and check out some of the most unique ways to stimulate your nips

There are many types of nerve endings and the nipple contains four of them, one of which are the lamellar corpuscles – they’re the reason we make things like our Vibrating Silicone Nipple Lassos, because this type of nerve ending is responsible for sensitivity to vibration. The super cool thing about these little bad boys is that the bullet not only offers direct stimulation just beneath the nipple, but it shoots pulsations through the entire silicone piece, engulfing your whole nipple with vibrating goodness.

Nipples chains and hanging clamps are super sweet because they offer hands-free stimulation as they swing with every move you make. Most of these come in the form of adjustable metal clamps, though, and many of our friends who were new to kink were kind of like, “What are those jumper cables and why would I ever want to put them on my nips?!” Okay, okay, I guess I could kind of see that. But have no fear! There is still nipple fun to be had for you, too! This super soft polyester nipple chain offers that sexy swing with zero pinch.

One of my most favorite sex toys in the whole wide world happens to be one of the most underrated and totally misinterpreted toys on the market – pussy pumps. You want the most intense sensations without any work? Use a pussy pump. Just like a penis pump, a pussy pump promotes blood flow to the area, filling both your internal and external parts and offering the utmost sensitivity possible. Seriously, like, after pumping, a single poke is enough to unleash the flood gates, I swear! Well guess what – you can do the same exact thing with your nips! Our Nipple Erector Set performs the same kind of vacuum suction that boosts blood flow with other pumps.

Fun facts to inspire your nipple appreciation:

  • Hairy nipples are actually a good thing. The hair surrounding the areola adds additional sensory tissue. More tissue equals even more awesome feels!
  • The entire breast has a network of nerve endings – and it has the same number of nerve endings regardless of its size.
  • The male and female breast have a similar nerve supply but the nerves lie closer together in men, whereas in a female breast they are spread out more widely.
  • Perky nipples are actually a contraction of muscles similar to that of goose bumps.

We rocked last night’s XBIZ Awards!

In a perfect bookend to a whirlwind week of industry events, we were honored at last night’s XBIZ Awards with two accolades just 24 hours after receiving the Free Speech Coalition Award for Pleasure Products Company of the Year! Unlike anything in the fetish market, our unique Fetish Fantasy Series Lube Wrestling Ring was recognized as Fetish Pleasure Product of the Year. We’re especially stoked to have also scored the prestigious Progressive Pleasure Products Company of the Year Award.


“I would like to thank XBIZ for their continued support and recognition, as well as my phenomenal Dream Team for all of their hard work,” said Chairman and CEO Nick Orlandino. “I am proud of what Pipedream has accomplished in the last year, and winning Progressive Pleasure Products Company of the Year only inspires us to work even harder. Pipedream will continue to set the industry standard and lead the way in product innovation.”

The Infamous Wall o’ (King) Cock!


We descended upon the winter ANME show in Burbank this week, wowing buyers and crushing competitors with our trio of new lines – iSex, Crush, and King Cock - which were, to no surprise, all wildly received by attendees, as well as our new additions to the Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy range, Neon, Super Star Series blowup dolls, Bachelorette Party Favors, and one of the mega-booth’s biggest crowd pleasers, the luxury silicone WOW! G-Motion vibe. However, the true talk of the show was our new American-made, super-authentic dildo line, King Cock, and the high tech-inspired USB plug-and-play collection, iSex.

“This was the biggest ANME ever,” said our head honcho aka Chairman and CEO Nick Orlandino. “We exhibited 120 great new products while simultaneously paring down some of our existing collections to offer only the best products and strongest sellers.” Orlandino continued, “iSex was a grand slam home run and the response to King Cock, American-made rubber done the Pipdedream way, was overwhelming.”

“Year after year, our customers are most impressed by how Pipedream continues to introduce new brands and innovative products,” said Midget Man, I mean – VP of Product Development Rob Phaneuf. “We try hard to develop lines that fill a niche and give our customers a reason to buy.”

“Our entire staff was constantly busy writing orders,” said VP of Sales Steve Sav. “We received only the most positive feedback – customers were very pleased to see that we continue to offer the most unique products that are easy for them to sell.”

We think the REAL talk of the show, though, was our unofficial photobooth, the infamous Wall o’ King Cock!

Analysis Paralysis of the Pleasurable Kind
Choosing the Right Vibe in a Sea of Sex Tech

As a veteran of adult novelty retail, I can attest to the importance of an enthusiastic, knowledgeable sales associate. Before I hopped planes on a regular basis for Pipedream, my home was behind the counter of an adult store chain that prioritized sex education. I know from experience that a lackluster employee can easily dissuade a buyer from making the right purchase. Even worse, a customer might be convinced to pay for something that’s completely useless for their needs, painful to use, or leaves them with a terrible impression of the otherwise amazing world of sexual enhancement products. Before you drop a single dime on one of retail’s infamously unreturnable items, assess your needs, get educated, and impress your local pleasure retailer with your new sex toy geek status.


Figure Out Your Body’s Needs

Sex toys can seem relatively simple… until you step into an adult boutique. There are options for your insides and outsides (and sometimes both!), and toy design has moved far beyond skinny, plastic vibrators and The Rabbit. When I used to coach customers on how to choose a toy, the first question I asked involved thinking about what body parts are the most desirable to stimulate. Do you prefer stimulation internally or externally? Do you need a little of both to enjoy using a toy? Is anal play something you’d like to add? Once you figure out what parts you’d like the toy to please, the decision-making process becomes a lot easier.

Go Big or Go Home (Happily With a Small Toy)

I think we all know by now that bigger isn’t always better when it comes to sex. When I’m on the road working with retail sales associates, one of the most common complaints is that many toys, despite otherwise good design, are just too big. Think about what you like when you’re with a partner or alone, or what you’d like to try now that you have a plethora of toys from which to choose. If hearty girth and length feel good from a human, you might enjoy the same from something silicone. If a couple fingers or stimulation around the entrance are turn-ons, go for something small and powerful with multi-speed options or an insertable vibe no larger than your hand. It’s usually more comfortable to start small and move up in size if needed, but if you know you like it big, then go for it!

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Need for Speed (or Not)

Vibrators have come a long way since “slow,” “medium,” and “fast.” The amount of rumbling, tumbling, and twirling options are enough to confuse even the savviest of toy connoisseurs. When it comes to power, there are different kinds of vibrations in addition to intensity levels. Some toys produce a “buzzy” vibration, which is a fluttery, surface-level sensation, often compared to what it might feel like to trap a large swarm of angry bees in a tin can. “Rumbly” vibes are the toy equivalent of a deep tissue massage. They resonate from the core of the vibrator deep into the body, and feel like sitting on the amp of a bass guitar. The best way to test whatever kind of vibe you’re seeking is to visit an adult shop that allows customers to view toys outside of the box, fully charged or with batteries. In the end, you might decide a good ol’ dildo without any power at all is the right choice.

Do Your Research

Before you begin browsing adults-only shops, you have lots of options to see how your toy of choice has fared for other users. There is a seemingly endless amount of pleasure product enthusiasts who regularly test popular toys for their personal blogs. Companies often distribute products to these veteran toy users for the purpose of a fair, unbiased review. Not every toy can be found on review websites, but all of the latest advances in sexual technology usually garner an opinion from the blogging community. When searching for a good blog to follow, look for a writer that takes different body types and activity preferences into account. A good adult toy reviewer will understand that a toy they thought was horrible might be perfect for someone else. You’ll have the best chances of understanding what a sex toy can do for you when a blogger pays attention to the material, functions, and options for use.


Hit The Shops!

Although it can be tempting to hide behind a computer screen, choosing a toy from a brick-and-mortar store is a smarter choice if you’re not 100% confident in your purchase. A reliable retailer will employ sales associates with knowledge of how to use adult products, what kind of experience most products provide, and the kind of questions to ask customers to ensure they’re sent home satisfied. Retailer websites and Yelp reviews can help you decide which store holds the most qualified employees. If possible (and it absolutely should be possible at stores that promote sex ed.), ask a clerk to let you take the toy out of the box. If it requires batteries, staff can usually get a vibrator up and running so you can see all the details for yourself. If it’s a rechargeable toy, many stores will already have a charged-up version on the counter. Some shops even hold classes and seminars on adult pleasure products and living a healthy, happy sex life. Finding the most up-to-date retailer in your area is the final step in upping your status as a sex toy tech geek (and being a geek of sex is never a bad thing).

Fallback Friday: Ghost of ANME’s Past

Wow, it’s seriously SO jaw dropping to compare our showroom and ANME booths from 2005 and now. Once upon a time, every single one of our products fit on just a few walls. Ten years later, and we had to renovate our showroom and build more walls in order to fit our thousands of products!

Pipedream Headquarters is buzzing like a beehive as we prep for the two-day show next week. Until we can leak this year’s booth, let’s reminisce about ANME 2005!

SNEAK PEEK: Crush, iSex, and King Cock

We can’t keep our panties on in anticipation of ANME! Our massive booth has already been in production all week, we’ve got a slew of new products added to some of our already best-selling lines… but what we’re super-duper stoked about is the debut of THREE completely new collections!

Okay, this is the part where you run to the bathroom, check your hair and swig some mouthwash, because we’re about to introduce you to your new bedside besties!

crush-sweet-heart-3dJust like that special someone who runs through your mind all day – you’ll never forget your first Crush! This 18-piece collection of silicone vibrators is made from our exclusive medical-grade Elite Silicone that’s phthalate-free, latex-free, hypoallergenic, and completely body-safe. These waterproof wonders feature 10 super-powerful pulsation patterns, 3 distinct sizes, and 18 completely unique shapes and textured. From sensuous and seductive clit stimulators to sophisticated and exquisite dual vibes, you’re sure to find a Crush that you can fall in love with over and over and over again!

news-anme-previewGive “plug-n-play” a whole new meaning with iSex, our 9-piece collection of portable USB-powered pleasure devices. There’s no need for batteries – just plug into the USB port of your computer, car, or cell phone plug, and you’re instantly ready for fun! We’ve included all your playtime essentials such as bullets, strokers, and even a vibrating nipple clamp, which are all easy-to-use, perfect for beginners, TSA-approved, and eco-friendly. They’re perfect for college students, long distance video chats, solo stroking sessions, office rendezvous, road trips, and any other time you need plug-n-play satisfaction.

We’re super excited about our first collection to be conceived and produced at our brand new manufacturing facility. King Cock is the ultimate collection of dildos that looks and feels just like the rock-hard stud you’ve always fantasized about! Every vein, every shaft, and every head is carefully handcrafted with detail to give you the most realistic experience ever imagined. Each dildo features a strong suction-cup base that sticks to nearly any flat surface and offers harness compatibility for strap-on fun. They’re all phthalate-free, latex-free, body-safe, hypoallergenic, and best of all, they’re proudly made in the USA so you can enjoy every masterpiece with confidence.