One of my biggest pet peeves is when some jerk cums first and doesn’t even bother to get me off too. Actually, screw that, that ain’t a pet peeve – that’s just fucked up. But then I realized there was something I was doing to enable this type of behavior – I was faking my orgasm.
Faking your orgasm isn’t polite. Faking your orgasm doesn’t protect someone else’s feelings. Faking your orgasm does only one thing – piss. you. off. I guess I can only speak for myself but for real, if I have a lot of sex and only a little climaxing, I get frustrated and spiteful as heeeelllllllll. And you’re not just pissing yourself off either – it usually pisses off or totally bums out the partner(s) involved. Your partner (or at least a good partner) is fucking you for a reason – to make you feel good; to get you off. So instead of lying your way through another dry, fake orgasm, try these tips for amping up your arousal to finally get you the fuck off!!!
I know, I know, waaaay easier said than done. But this is seriously the quickest, cheapest, simplest fix for this ish. All you gotta do is lead the way – ain’t nobody a mind reader! Tell them when and where to move, how fast or slow you need it. Some people may find it uncomfortable to talk during sex, though, and that’s cool too. Try talking about it during a lazy morning or late night chat in bed, when there’s a calmer vibe but still an intimate setting. You don’t even have to tell them you’ve been faking it, you can just be like, “Hey I tried this new thing with myself and I was hoping you could try it too.” Who knows, maybe soon after you’ll be showing them instead! Mutual masturbation is an even better, physical way of communicating your needs because your partner can then see exactly what it takes to satisfy you.
I’ve always been a strong advocate of adding additional stimulation because DUH – if one thing feels good, and another thing feels good, and another thing feels good, then combining these forces of goodness can only result in three times the good! Add a clit stimulator or a cock ring or even a clit stimulating cock ring! Try toys that offer new types of sensations, like anal plugs for added pressure and nipple teasers that vibrate your most sensitive spots. I’m telling you, if you just go and stimulate all of the things, you will have all of the orgasms all of the time.
3. Try On a Fetish
Maybe you’re just getting sorta bored with the type of sex you’re having. That’s okay! It doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you’re a human being who like, grows and changes and stuff – whoa, who’da thunk it? There are tons of fetishes you could explore and even more toys to help you do the exploring, whether it’s bondage, restraints, pegging, tickling, anal play, cock and ball torture, roleplaying, lingerie, Discipline/submission… the list goes on and mothafuckin on! You may be apprehensive about buying something you’re not even sure you’ll like, so consider what your typical fantasies involve (be honest!!!!) or browse some porn you wouldn’t normally check out. If you find something visually or mentally stimulating, it just may be the new fetish for you.
Find more sex tips in these blog posts: