Question: I’ve never tried bondage, and I really want to, but all of those contraptions are kinda intimidating. What do you suggest a beginner use to ease into it all?
Even for a Professional Perv like myself, the infinite variety of restraints was pretty overwhelming when I first entered the scene too. Once I dove in, though, it was like I had discovered the freakin’ mecca of sexuality; it opened a whole new universe of sex beyond just the suck and fuck I had become so bored of. Not only did BDSM offer an entirely new realm of ways to arouse my ladyboner, it also provided an infinite possibility of positions for relieving said ladyboner. In fact, the day I discovered bondage was the same day I discovered the best position for the most comfortable, pleasurable anal sex – but that’s a whole ‘nother story.
The pleasure derived from restraints varies just as much as the selection of gear itself. Get the low down on what there is available to you, and consider your desires, comforts, and boundaries. Are there certain materials that you prefer? Are you aiming for a particular position? Do you want minimum or maximum movement of the restrained? Here are just a few of your options.
Metal cuffs are like, the OG restraint most people grab at first. They’re super easy to find, affordable, and obvi the material is crazy strong so it can safely last a lifetime. They’re perfect for restraining wrists behind the back, behind the head, or my fav – right in front to maintain easy handie access. Metal cuffs are also the perfect device for attaching your partner to (most) bed posts, armchairs, and wherever else your desires guide you, and there are tons of styles to satisfy any taste. There are classic silver metal handcuffs to fulfill the common cop fantasies, bright metallic anodized cuffs for those of us who are usually like, “ooooooh, shiiiiinnnnyyyyy,” bedazzled cuffs for the divas, and furry cuffs because duh.
Breathable cuffs are what I typically suggest to beginners because they’re made with softer materials like vinyl, neoprene, and/or polyester. These more malleable materials guaranteeing uber-comfort and usually offer a super-wide range of size adjustment, making them perfect for restraining both wrists and ankles. The really cool thing about most breathable cuffs are that they can be separated from one another, usually by a metal clip, for use with other devices like sex swings, bed restraints, chest harnesses, and more.
Bed Restraints are probably one of my fav options because I’m super lazy and they’re way easy to keep in place and ready-to-use while still remaining discreet. My favorite type are Wraparound Bed Restraints because every strap is completely adjustable as to adapt to any sized bed. There are five total straps – one long strap runs up the center of the mattress and has two shorter straps connected to either end. The shorter straps will have removable cuffs at the ends and lead to wherever you’d like your limbs arranged – to each corner of the bed, at the top and bottom of the bed, or on either side of the bed. It sounds like a lot of work to put into place, all having to pickup your mattress and re-making your bed and stuff – but I swear, it’s totally worth it! Because when you’re not taking advantage of your new bedroom bondage playground, you can simply stuff each cuff between the mattress and box spring for easy access.
Hogties are for those of us in need of a very specific position. Many of them won’t have super adjustable straps or slack because the point is completely restrain their limbs to limit their movement, while still allowing the Dom(me) the freedom to move or flip their partner however they’d like. Most times you’ll see a hogtie being used to position the hands and feet behind the back. This may be one of the most intimidating restraints, so beginners should start with a slightly more comfortable option like the Position Master with Cuffs.