May is the best month ever. Spring is in full effect, your favorite Sexpert‘s birthday falls on Cinco de Mayo, aaaaand it’s National Masturbation Month!
The celebration began in ’95 by San Francisco-based retailer Good Vibrations in response to the termination of Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders. You see, Dr. Elders suggested that masturbation be introduced to young people’s sex education, seeing as how important it is to learn about our anatomy. Sure, you can totally spread your legs in front of the mirror and look around without jerking off, but once you discover those sweet spots, why the hell wouldn’t you play around? Understanding our sexual preferences is equally as important as understanding our anatomy in order to better communicate our needs. If you don’t know what you like, then how the hell is someone else supposed to figure it out?
This pleasure factor seems to scare the government, though, and they fired Dr. Elders for her suggestion. Yeah, you heard me. She lost her job for wanting to help young people discover their bodies and sexuality.
To promote awareness about the situation, May was dubbed National Masturbation Month to remind us all that playing with yourself is totally natural — equal parts important and fun! And to celebrate, I wanted to share with you, our dear Pipedreamers, all of my favorite things to fuck myself with!
Each week of National Masturbation Month, we’ll be GIVING AWAY one of my favorite toys coupled with the only lube I use – Moist Heat. So keep a lookout on our Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Pinterest for your chance to WIN some of these mind-blowing products!
I’ve talked about my tentacle fucker i.e. our Icicles No. 24 the way a proud mother talks about their honor roll student. I seriously can’t get enough of this handblown glass masterpiece, and it’s still in prime rotation at my bed side since receiving it from my slutty Santa. I just love options, and there’s so much you can do with this. Massage your tense muscles with its sturdy tip and bumpy texture, and heat it in a bowl of warm water to help melt those knots away. Or drip a bit of Moist Heat over those bumps and veins and fill yourself with warmth as the slightly curved G-spot stimulating tip ushers your orgasm from within.
I’m absolutely in love with our Le Réve Silicone Sweetie Butterfly. With such a busy schedule, I’ve always got a dual-stimulator in reach for a solo quickie, and this Silicone Sweetie has every little detail that pushes my climax to the max faster than every before! Its curved G-spot stimulating tip and ribbed shaft is perfectly complimented by the total coat of soft silicone that slips in and out of you so smoothly, it’s almost like a natural extension of you! But my favorite part is the butterfly’s powerful antennas. Ever so slightly spread, the antennas nuzzle right up around the sides of your clit, buzzing you ’til you just can’t take it anymore!
Even being the first (strap-on) cock I ever bought, our purple Basix Rubber Works 8″ Suction Cup Dong still gets a ton of play in my pants. As a solo cock, the best part about it is the ultra powerful suction cup. Stick that bad boy onto almost any surface and you’ll never need a partner again after this wild ride! No matter how hard you pound it, that sucker’s not slipping any time soon. One of the really cool aspects about this entire collection is that they’re made in the Basix Bakery right here at Pipedream HQ, boasting the ‘Merican-made stamp of approval!
For more information about this or future contests, hit up Sexpert Sabrina Dropkick at firstname.lastname@example.org, or anonymously inquire with the Sexperts here!