I had a blast with Miyoko on her Playboy Radio show “Play With Me” this week! In celebration of Halloween i.e. the only holiday that actually matters, the episode was titled “Death by Orgasm” — an homage to the French expression “la petite mort” which translates to “the little death” and means ”the brief loss or weakening of consciousness,” though modern usage specifically refers to “the sensation of orgasm as likened to death.” We talked about orgasms A LOT throughout our hour-long conversation — about the different types of orgasms, about the physiological occurrences during orgasms, about the scientific reasoning for the endorphins released by orgasms, and of course, which of Pipedream’s toys offer orgasms that are simply TO DIE FOR!!!
Fetish Fantasy Series High Intensity Pussy Pump: Pussy pumps are seriously the best thing that’s ever happened to my sex life. I’ve always had a hard time naturally lubricating and especially struggled with a lack of sensitivity, so much so that I eventually gave up on ever getting off. Then I used a pussy pump for the first time and I swear to you, angels fucking sang as a heavenly light shot right the fuck out of me. No sexual contact had ever felt this good in my life. The entire pumped area – vulva, labia, clit, and all – became engorged with blood, turning every single nerve into a land mine of pleasure (mind you, there’s 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone). My sensitivity increased by like, at least a million, billion percent, and all that blood flow kept my clit super erect and much easier to stroke. So whether you’re disappointed in your orgasm or just want to cum like you’ve never done before (and seriously, who doesn’t want that?), then you absolutely need to make the pussy pump a staple in your toy box.
King Cock Squirters: Sometimes I go on a good ol’ fashion dick binge and other times I go on a sex sabbatical, the latter of which I chose to do so rather recently. After a few months without partnered sex, I really, really, reeeaaaally started to miss cum. Messy sex is super fun and cum is like, the cherry on top of a sloppy romp. While amidst a solid bitchfest about my severe lack of facials, a colleague finally stopped laughing just enough to audibly speak the words that would send me running through Pipedream headquarters screaming in ecstasy, like a fucking 12-year-old Belieber or something. He said, “Dude, didn’t you hear we’re gonna put out some King Cock Squirters?” WHAT?! I fucking lost it, sprinting to another colleague to share the amazing news. I’m gonna have a cock that cums!!!! OMG I can give myself a facial!!! I can give myself a creampiiiieeeee!!!! Our King Cock line in general is simply the shit. They’re SO fucking realistic – like, each cock is created from its own unique, hand-sculpted mold and the colors, from the head to the veins, are meticulously hand-painted in our Chatsworth facilities. Yep, you heard that right – they’re completely manufactured right here in gotdamn America. USA!! USA!!
Fantasy C-Ringz Ultimate Ass-Gasm: I am a glutton for pleasure – I want all of the sensations all of the time. I mean, it’s just a scientific fact that if you simultaneously stimulate a bunch of your erogenous zones, then you’re definitely gonna experience increased pleasure, putting you directly on the road to the most intense, explosive orgasm you’ve ever experienced. And if I had a biological cock, then the Ultimate Ass-Gasm would certainly be my permanent weapon of choice in the war to beat my meat. Consider for a moment all of the possible points of pleasure for someone with a cock — there’s the head and the shaft, of course, but then there’s the balls and the perineum and the butt hole aaaand the prostate. And guess the fuck what? The Ultimate Ass-Gasm stimulates ALL of these areas in ALL of the ways! First of all, the cock ring maintains blood flow to the cock, encouraging erection and sensitivity. The ball ring gives your little guys a squeeze and keeps them from retracting during orgasm (when a dick cums, the balls clench into the body, so halting this provides a super intense sensation). The thumb-shaped butt plug presses snug against the prostate and the entire piece is made of super-smooth silicone, so it’s ultra-hygienic and won’t snag skin or hair. But what makes this piece so ridickulously amazing is the four strategically placed bullet vibes – I REPEAT, FOUR. FUCKING. VIBRATORS!!! One placed at the top of the cock ring to offer stimulation to the wearer’s partner, one at the base of the cock ring to tickle the wearer’s balls and the partner’s taint, one between the ball ring and the plug that buzzes the shit out of the wearer’s taint, and one inside the butt plug that tickles endless anal nerve endings and powerfully massages the prostate. ALL OF THE SENSATIONS FOR ALL OF THE PLEASURE!!!
Anyway, enough of my babble — I could talk about my favorite sex toys for mothafuckin days. Catch a 15 minute teaser of “Death by Orgasm” here, though the full episode will be available shortly so keep your panties on just a little bit longer!! In the mean time, go ahead and exercise that other head of yours and get your sex education on with these related blog posts: